My Art, My Future

Put pen to paper

And then decide—

Loopy, pretty, bold—

But always legible—

But legible for whom?

Ideas flow through veins

From heart to wrist

To fingertips—

And then,

With a bang,

Comes a baby crying—

A sign of new life

And new health.

Fold it, package it, send it,

Kiss and caress it as you wait.

And then,

With a bang,

Comes a sign of a newer life.

A book

Bound with a spine

That only rivals the brave author’s.

Truth, Love, Peace, and...Targets?

Amidst the tragedy of the Tucson, Arizona shooting, of course someone has to leak out controversy about some ultra-famous politician.  And unsurprisingly, this perfect example of gun violence seems to have splashed blood on the hands of gun-enthusiast Sarah Palin.

I'm keeping this short, because I'm pretty miffed about the whole thing, and I just don't need to start pounding on my keyboard. But basically, in case you haven't heard, last year, Governor Palin's political action committee (SarahPAC) released a propaganda-style graphic outlining the twenty House Democrats who voted for the "ObamaCare" bill.  It, as shown below, placed gun targets over the states and included the names of the representatives.

 

And yes...that is Gabrielle Giffords' name on the left column.

The idea was that we need to "target" these representatives and try to remove them from the House.  I'm crediting this whole thing to an eerie coincidence...especially when you see this below:

Let's take a step back and look at this. The theme of the graphic was "targeting" liberal representatives and apparently, the 6/12/10 event advertised above was a gun-promoting fundraiser for a conservative cause.

I'm going to take a wild guess (read: common sense) and say that Sarah Palin did not have Giffords shot. That's ridiculous; we all know that the Palins are not like the Kennedys. I don't believe she has enough power to get away with that, plus she really does not seem like the kind of person to just pay to pick people off.  It's a ridiculous concept to say that this is more than a coincidence.

However, is Governor Palin a totally innocent party in this?

My answer is: no. The map graphic was totally offending and promotes anything but the "peace and justice" that Palin advertised on her Facebook statement about the shooting of Representative Giffords.  It is never okay to make a statement by putting a target (even figuratively, as SarahPAC did) on someone's name or on a map of America.  This is as much a slap in the face of liberals as her TLC show "Sarah Palin's Alaska" was.  Now, there is nothing wrong at taking a jab at the opposite party, but to promote violence in such a way as this is unacceptable.

I really hate playing the "If _____ did this" game, but here I go...

If President Obama released a graphic with targets on the map of the United States of America, he would have been immediately called a terrorist and a "radical Muslim."  Fox News wouldn't rest until they had statements from Megyn Kelly, Bret Baier, Glenn Beck, Shepard Smith, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Juan Williams, Geraldo Rivera, Rush Limbaugh, and Palin herself that all called Obama a radical.  Governor Palin should not be able to put targets anywhere on America or on people's names because it is, in my opinion, quite radical.

I'm not the most conservative thinker, and I'm not the most liberal thinker, but it is pretty obvious to me that Palin's graphics are not helping the Republican party.  Insensitive propaganda like this paired with the Tea Party's ignorant signs (see below) only further the Republicans' flawed reputation as war-mongers.

Of course, as soon as this controversy was whispered toward Fox News, Glenn Beck had to tackle it.  Governor Palin sent him a rather timely email (proving she can do it, ha) that read:


"I hate violence. I hate war. Our children will not have peace if politicos just capitalize on this to succeed in portraying anyone as inciting terror and violence. Thanks for all you do to send the message of truth and love. And God has the answer."

Governor Palin, with all due respect, maybe you could take time off from chopping down trees and hunting moose (we all know you do it because we all saw the "Sarah Palin's Alaska" commercials) to actually promote peace. You can make your PAC cut out the violent propaganda. You can start sending your own messages of peace, truth, love, and God.  You don't have to change your stance on the War on Terror or guns.  Just change your maps, graphics, and advertising of your name and opinions.  Oh, and while you're working on this, maybe you could talk to your buddy Glenn, who you claim "sends the message of truth and love."  May I remind you of the time he said he took his WWJD bracelet off because he thought of killing Michael Moore?

And while we're talking, can you send me a letter?  Glenn Beck gets an email, and I don't? I see how it is...

Only kidding, of course.  But I'm still waiting.  Maybe you can make it up to me by sending me a letter and telling your good buddy Glenn to send me one as well.  Now that would make for an interesting blog.

Finally...

Luckily, we still have some peace-minded people in America, as shown below.  Even if Giffords is an "ObamaCare Democrat", she should be admired for her dedication to national security and border security.  She is a true patriot and my prayers are with her as she recovers from this tragedy.  No matter how we feel about Palin, Beck, or the Tea Party, we should all remember the six deaths in Tucson, the other victims still recovering, and the representative who was unfairly targeted--both literally and figuratively.

How Southerners Play in the Snow

Not only was today my mother's birthday, but it was the second time of my life where I've been let out of school because of snow! So I went with my best buddy/little brother Sam to enjoy the magical fluffy whiteness that got me out of a Chemistry exam.

However, we were a little confused. We live in a place where there are a few good hills and slopes, but how were we supposed to sled? Growing up in Mississippi and South Carolina, we've never owned a sled because we've never had a reason to own a sled.  So we had to get creative...

I woke up and my sweet cat (read: terrorist) alerted me to this amazing view.

My mom (who turned 39 today, don't ya know) made us warm ham and biscuits (a classic Southern breakfast, in case you're not from around these parts) before we all went outside. Yes, even the tiny Chihuahua (read: vacuum cleaner).

 Due to the absence of a good and proper sled, we had to think of a replacement. Cardboard boxes would get wet and fall apart, we didn't have an available garbage can, and why ruin a $30 sleeping bag?  So we went to the kitchen and found a pizza pan.  Here, my partner in crime models the new sled.

I let him test-drive the pizza pan, just in case it turned out to be a disaster...

  And it was. In fact, Sam admitted that he will be lucky if he has children. You see his rather manly scowl and the buried pizza pan.

 But a good Southern boy never gives up. He just improvises...and uses his own back as a sled. It worked great for Sam, but not so much for me. His success could be blamed on the fact that he weighs at least thirty pounds more than me.

 No real use for the pizza pan any more, so he tried to crack the ice on the streets. And pretty much failed.

 We ended up finding a hill that I enjoyed greatly, which is why there are no pictures of it. We took turns rolling and sliding down the hill, and then used our boots to ice-skate in the street. Yeah, we've never owned ice skates, either. However, after burning all of those delicious ham-and-biscuit calories, we had to find a more relaxing way to enjoy the snow. This is Sam's "light bulb just went off above his head" face.

And this is the great idea.

 However, it did not stick, no matter how hard he tried. We were quite disappointed and my boots were thoroughly soaked through, so we decided to go inside, don our fuzzy pajamas, and drink hot chocolate while watching "Ghosts of Mississippi" on HBO. Entirely coincidental movie, but it was good enough that my next post should be my lamentations on the "ghosts."


I think you can tell by my face that it was a wonderful day! Cold, but very serendipitous.

And in case you haven't met her...this is my baby, Prudence. She enjoyed the snow just as much as we did, and Sam even made a snow fort by hiding in the snow-covered Prudence. Hey, cut us some slack: we Southerners don't know anything about making snow forts!

 And the day was made even better by this happy little email...

 So yes, in case you were wondering, this Southern belle LOVES snow days! The only thing that could make today better would be if I received a letter from Sarah Palin!

2010--What I've Learned

I know it has been a month since I last posted, and I'm sorry. My only excuses are: winter break from school, a trip to Mississippi, some sort of virus that kept me in bed for a few days, and the return to school and midterms. Not a good enough explanation, I know--I kept receiving text messages, phone calls, and Facebook posts asking why I haven't updated! So I'm sorry.

I honestly don't know what to post, though. I had some cute humor pieces planned out about kayaking across the Pacific Ocean, teenage Facebook romances, what NOT to do on Facebook, and why I love the state of Mississippi so much. However, those don't seem to be good meaningful starts to 2011, which is so far the biggest year of my life (graduation, anyone?).  So forgive me if you get lost in this stream of consciousness. I don't know what this post will end up saying.

2010 was hard for me. I've been struggling with a lot things for a while now, but it's like this year has been the breaking point for so many things in my life. Until 2009, I was actively involved in a church and Christianity. I actively sought out a relationship with Christ and I dreamed of going on the mission field in Cambodia, Uganda, or Thailand. I have two international mission trips (Peru and Romania) and I've worked in a special needs camp, a mission camp, various soup kitchens, etc. I used to live to serve, all in the name of Christ. But now I'm having doubts, and I don't know what to do with these doubts. It's hard for me to believe everything that is written in the Bible. I hate the general hypocrisy of any religious person--not just Christians, even Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists are extremely hypocritical. And I just don't agree with everything in the religion I've been brought up with. I've tried praying about it, but it feels like my prayers are just hitting the ceiling. I haven't felt the presence of God in over a year. It makes me feel hopelessly lost because I have relied on God and the church all my life.

And I've learned about other relationships, too. I've known for a long time that family will let you down, but the past year just kept shouting that at me. Friends come and go like the wind. I got over the typical high school drama by the time I was fifteen, so it's not like I'm having fights and rumors or anything. People are just like the leaves in a tree. They're beautiful and provide a cool, comforting place for a while, but eventually they wither and just fall away from you.  I'm not jaded; I'm not unwilling to ever love again. In fact, I'm dying to weed out the people in my life and see who will be my friends for the rest of my life. I want to meet new people to love. But in this crazy world where everyone moves around and everyone comes and goes, relationships break. There is nothing that can be done about it. It's human nature.

And success. How do you measure success? I made a 5 on my AP English exam. I made perfect scores on my state tests. I have a pretty good GPA. Overall, it has been a fairly good year for academics, but why do I feel like my plans for the future are so empty?  I can't decide where I really want to go to college. Either way, I lose someone. If I go to my number one college (out-of-state, what I consider to be my home), I'm far away from my little brother and big sister, who honestly keep me alive. If I go to one of my other choices (in-state), I'm far away from the place I call home.  And what in the world am I going to do with my life?  But back to success.  Sometimes it's really hard for me to study because I want to work on my novel, blog, or paint a picture. Is success about what you need to do, or what you need to love? It's true that I need to love academics, but they do not keep me alive. Writing and art keep me alive. I need to love them so I can survive. So am I successful for chasing those dreams or for putting the laptop away to study? And will writing or school make me successful? I know that if I study and work hard and try my best then I will manage to get a job in a few years. But what if it's a job I hate? What if I don't find time to write this novel? Then I'm not successful, in my eyes.  So to sum all of that up: What is success?

On the more positive side of things...

I've learned about the world. In the past year, my political views have definitely broadened--I'm no longer tied down to one side of the spectrum. I have made it a point to observe the social circles and cultures around me. I'm trying to love every person I know, but of course that is so hard.  I've considered stereotypes and gender roles and how they affect my country. I'm constantly trying to enlighten myself.

And I do actually know what I'm going to do with my life.  I just don't know how I'm going to get there. No matter what college, major, degree, job I choose, I know I'll be married and I'll have children. The ideas of marriage and pregnancy used to make me break out into hives--especially the word housewife! But now, at seventeen years old, I'm already yearning to have that job in my life.  I'm not saying I'm going to skip college and just start having kids. That is not a Sarah plan at all. I want a degree, I want a successful career, I want to be a power woman. But I also want the power in a household that I can keep in order. I'm already dreaming of four kids. For those of you who actually know me, you can see what a turn-around this is in my life.  This year, I've decided that I think there is something beautiful about a woman who takes care of her husband and her children. But don't get your hopes up--I'm not going to be this. That still makes me break out into hives. So I guess I'm not going to be June Cleaver, but I'm not going to be Edna Pontellier, either.

But after all of that complaining and random musing, I must confess to the most important lesson I've learned this year: I've learned to let go. I no longer take responsibility for familial problems, disappointments, and things that are out of my control. I've been told I've grown apathetic to a fault, but it has been the best thing for me. Yes, I just blah blah blah'ed all about that, and all of that is pressing on my heart, but it's not sucking the life out of me. My family no longer drains me. The stress of school does not conquer me. I've even let go of the biggest tragedy of my life--the loss of my older brother. I have a million things bouncing in my mind, but finally at last, I'm free. I control my life. I control my emotions. I rely on no one but myself.

Well, I rely on myself...and this...and this...and this. As they say in that horrible Beatles musical Across the Universe, "Music is the only thing that makes sense anymore, man."

Am I finished rambling yet? I think so. I have no idea what I just typed, to be honest, but I think I'll post any way. I'm trying to tone down my spontaneity this year, so maybe I should just delete it, but I'm also trying to go down a dress size. Both resolutions will probably be ignored.

Oh, and to receive a reply from Sarah Palin. So far she's been mute.