I realize that if you are on a college campus, you are probably an adult. I realize that it's a lot of fun to leave your parents' house and be who you want to be. I've indulged in "the real me" quite a few times. I, however, do not understand why you would want to wear an outfit worthy of a hip-hop music video to class.
Let me get this straight: I am not a prude. I adore fashion. Lately, I have spent way too much money in Express, which is not exactly a prudish store. But I do respect myself, and I fully believe that "modest is hottest." I think that I am living proof that you can be modest and stylish all at once. Not tooting my own horn, just stating a fact.
So, I decided to comprise a list of basic fashion rules, organized by category:
Dresses:
When buying a dress, you should know about a few tricks to try in the dressing room.
1.) While wearing the dress, touch your toes. Do you have to hold your dress up to keep your boobs from falling out? Can you touch your toes without showing your butt to the world? Dresses should never show your most feminine body parts.
2.) As you pull the dress over your head, keep your eyes open. Can you see through the fabric? If yes, consider a slip, a tank top, or just put the dress back on the rack.
3.) Look for an air conditioning vent in the dressing room. Yes, seriously. Stand in front of it. Would a gust of wind blow your dress up and show your panties to the world? If you can't find an air conditioning vent, then twirl around. If you're still keeping Victoria's Secret a secret, then you probably should buy the dress!
Shirts:
Many of the same rules apply to shirts.
1.) Touch your toes. Do you have to hold the shirt up to keep your boobs from falling out?
2.) As you pull the shirt over your head, keep your eyes open. Can you see through the fabric?
3.) Raise your arms as high as you can. How high does your shirt ride up? Can you see your belly button? Even worse, can you see your muffin top? If so, that is probably not a classy shirt.
4.) When your arms are resting at your side, can you still see your midriff? Yes? Put it back on the rack, Britney.
5.) Graphic tees: If your father was going to buy you a shirt with a saying on the front, would he pick this one? If not, then don't buy it. No daddy wants to see his little girl in a shirt that says "I recycle boys" or "Bootylicious." (Seriously, who even says Bootylicious anymore? Alas, I saw that t-shirt today.)
Wearing the shirt...
6.) Can you see your bra through your shirt? If yes, find a tank top.
7.) Are you wearing a brightly-colored bra underneath a light-colored shirt that would otherwise be okay? If yes, find another bra.
8.) Are your bra straps showing? (I'm conflicted on this one. Sometimes, with off-the-shoulder shirts, bra straps look like tank top straps. But if you are very obviously showing your bra, you should consider a strapless bra. Don't get the bras with clear straps--everyone notices them.)
Jeans/Slacks:
1.) My number one rule: don't wear skinny jeans if you don't have skinny genes. Skinny jeans on women who have a little extra curve in their hips, thighs, and calves only reveal what you don't want to be revealed, and that is the opposite of modesty. Skin-tight jeans show every dimple in your skin. And those colored skinnies that are so inexplicably popular? They only make you look like a giant dumpling that was dipped in food coloring. I'm not trying to be rude. This is the talk I give myself every time I go shopping. Learn your body. Learn what kinds of jeans fit you and make you look/feel great. I loved skinny jeans all throughout high school, but after gaining nearly ten pounds my first semester of college, I learned to embrace straight-leg jeans and boot-cut jeans (but only with boots and heels). I'm starting to love my booty again. This isn't just about being stylish and aware of how to dress for your body type. This is also about modesty. Some girls can look modest in tight jeans, but some (myself included) just can't.
2.) Can you see your buttcrack when you stand up straight? Remember that crack kills.
3.) Can you see your buttcrack when you bend over? Crack kills!
4.) Are there holes in your pants that show your underwear or your pockets? Please understand that I love ripped/distressed jeans...but if you can see your pockets, you're probably showing too much thigh. And Victoria's Secret should be secretive!
5.) Does your thong/panties show over your waistband? Do I even have to explain why this is trashy?
Skirts/Shorts
1.) Touch your toes. You should understand why by now. If you're wearing shorts, can you see the bottoms of your butt cheeks? Yeah? Trust me when I say that no respectable boy wants to see their lady wear that out in the streets.
2.) Are they so short that you can see your pockets? Yeah? Put them back.
3.) For skirts, use the air conditioning trick again.
Miscellaneous
1.) Leggings are not pants. The '80s called; they want their fashion disaster back.
2.) If your tights/leggings/panty hose have rips, runs, and shreds...don't wear them. Basically, if one of Ke$ha's most popular hits sings about something you're wearing, you should probably just rethink your entire wardrobe.
3.) A short skirt and thigh-high boots are for bad pornos, not for you.
4.) Do your fishnets say "Elle Woods", or "Vivian the Pretty Woman Prostitute"? You'll know the difference.
5.) An inch-thick layer of foundation and a pound of eye makeup may not be "immodest," but it is still "trashy." If your face is a different color than your neck or shoulders, you're wearing way too much!
6.) Corset tops? No. Just no.
7.) Bras--listen, girls, I hate bras more than anyone. As soon as I enter my dorm, the bra comes off and is flung across the room. But in public, they should be required. If you're wearing a sweatshirt over a t-shirt and don't plan on taking the sweatshirt off, okay, go for comfort. But if you're wearing a dress, cute top, sweater, or t-shirt, you need something to reign the girls in. Girls who are smaller on top might can wear a tank top. But if you wear a tank top and you're still jiggling while you walk, just wear the bra. If bras did not serve an honorable purpose, they would not have been invented.
Honestly, though, my biggest fashion tip can't exactly be given to everyone. But if you know a guy who respects you, he will always be honest with you. My dad and my little brother both tell me when they think an outfit isn't working. Dad just tells me "Go put on a sweater" and Sam just tells me "Wow, you look like a whore." Harsh, but effective.
If you're not convinced, here are some lovely pictures of modern style icons whose featured outfits are following my rules:
Emma Watson
(by the way, I've never met a straight male who didn't adore her)
(by the way, I've never met a straight male who didn't adore her)
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| Awesome street wear for chillier weather. And an awesome quote. It's okay to let guys wonder what's underneath. Just don't show them right off the bat. |
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| Such a cute and fun dress that shows some leg but hides your goodies. And another awesome quote. |
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| Sexy cleavage, but a modest dress. Yes, ladies, it's possible. |
Taylor Swift
(hate her music, love her style)
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| A lady in the streets... |
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| ...and at the best parties in the country. Jennifer Hudson (for those of us with boobs and hips)  |
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| Hello, cutie pie! It's nice to see (some of) you! |
But, of course, modesty is not only about clothes and makeup. It's about how you carry yourself and how you behave. If you're a lady (and you probably are, if you've made it this far into this post), you'll probably understand these immortal words. Take them to heart.
Carrie in the closet...
Charlotte in the streets...
Miranda in the classroom...
And Samantha in the sheets.
Style like Carrie. Have Charlotte's class. Use your brain like Miranda. And be sexy like Samantha...behind closed doors.
Thanks for reading, sweetie pies! Keep it classy!
